How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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