Christians are straight up FREAKS
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
