Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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