I want to stick my p in your. b.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
