dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
