oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
