Operation Purity has been aborted
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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