They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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