I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
My pussy is not your playground.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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