the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
