we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
