my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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