I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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