A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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