Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
