She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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