And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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