the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
