You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
