This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
