You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
