went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize