so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize