Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I have demons in me.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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