this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
