My first STD was from a foam party
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
