Cold hands, warm shart.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
