Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
