I want to have your abortion
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize