I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
