The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
