People in love make me want to vomit
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
