I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize