i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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