Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I have already put on my inside pants.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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