It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
