This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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