I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
