Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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