We won't sleep together?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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