I will die if light touches me.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
