the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize