they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
