How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
