If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
is wine microwaveable?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
