I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
