where am i from again
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize