i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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