i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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