is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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