We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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