This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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