I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Randomize
