I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
