The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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