I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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