my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
do herpes really smell.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Did I show you my penis last night?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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