if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
