i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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