To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
