Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
